Rules of Acquisition
The Rules of Acquisition were a numbered series of aphorisms, guidelines, and principles that provided the foundation of business philosophy in Ferengi culture. They were first written ten thousand years ago by Gint, the first Grand Nagus. In the mid-22nd century there were 173 rules, but by the 24th century there were 285. Commentaries existed for the Rules. In theory, every Ferengi business transaction strictly follows all 285 rules. There was also a short-lived revised edition of the Rules written by Grand Nagus Zek after having his state of mind changed by the Bajoran Prophets. These rules were almost complete opposites of the original rules and promoted honesty and charity. After Zek recovered, he ordered all copies of the new rules to be destroyed. Official Rules of Acquisition *Number 1 - Once you have their money, you never give it back *Number 3 - Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to *Number 6 - Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity *Number 7 - Keep your ears open *Number 9 - Opportunity plus instinct equals profit *Number 10 - Greed is eternal *Number 16 - A deal is a deal *Number 17 - A contract is a contract is a contract ... but only between Ferengi *Number 18 - A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all *Number 21 - Never place friendship above profit *Number 22 - A wise man can hear profit in the wind *Number 23 - Nothing is more important than your health ... except for your money *Number 31 - Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother *Number 33 - It never hurts to suck up to the boss *Number 34 - War is good for business *Number 35 - Peace is good for business *Number 45 - Expand or die *Number 47 - Never trust a man wearing a better suit than you *Number 48 - The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife *Number 57 - Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them *Number 59 - Free advice is seldom cheap *Number 62 - The riskier the road, the greater the profit *Number 74 - Knowledge equals profit *Number 75 - Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum *Number 76 - Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies *Number 94 - Females and finances don't mix *Number 98 - Every man has his price *Number 102 - Nature decays but latinum lasts forever *Number 103 - Sleep can interfere with... *Number 109 - Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack *Number 111 - Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them *Number 112 - Never have sex with the boss's sister *Number 125 - You can't make a deal if you're dead *Number 139 - Wives serve, brothers inherit *Number 168 - Whisper your way to success *Number 190 - A man is only worth the sum of his possessions *Number 194 - It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in you door *Number 203 - New customers are like razor-toothed-gee-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back *Number 208 - Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer *Number 211 - Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them *Number 214 - Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach *Number 217 - You can't free fish from water *Number 229 - Latinum lasts longer than lust *Number 239 - Never be afraid to mislabel a product *Number 263 - Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum *Number 285 - No good deed ever goes unpunished